Shopping Sniper

I've told people before that I don't mind shopping. I've said with the utmost sincerety in my eyes that I don't at all mind wandering aimlessly examining articles that I will never buy with care. It's a lie.

I think I've told this little lie mostly to girls, with two goals in mind. 1) To garner favor and 2) to gain a potential shopping partner.

Even with respect to goal #1, I find myself tiring by the third store. I am impatient; I cannot stand to look at every item in the store in search of a deal. I am more impatient than I am frugal - these days I will buy something that I see that meets my criteria even if it's a little more expensive than I would like, if I really need it. If I don't, I give up and go home.

With respect to #2, I like shopping for myself only marginally better than accompanying another shopper. But I do like to get a second opinion on things. Therefore, I like having a shopping partner. Selfish? Yes. But with my entire purpose in shopping focused on finding the item(s) I need as quickly and as inexpensively as possible and going home so I can lay half-naked on the couch licking the potato chip crumbs off my bare chest whilst watching bad TV, I don't think it's nearly as painful for my shopping partner as it is for me when I am the partner.

This brings to mind the Christmas holiday, which just passed, and the pain that is holiday shopping. Holiday shopping is even more painful than normal shopping because you a) don't have time to really look for deals b) you have a deadline to make your purchases c) everyone else is out shopping and d) you don't have time to think about what you are buying, so you usually just end up getting junk. I also end up paying more sometimes just to get it all over with, rather than looking for a deal... but I figure why spend an extra hour to save $5?

To all that love shopping, Lord help you.

Third tier

A somewhat depressing note - I filled out a survey today to get $10 off $100 at an Apple retail store. When they ask for ages, they always ask about it in tiers, like 0-17, 18-24, etc. I have been selecting the 18-24 age range for as long as I can remember filling out online surveys.

Today, I had to choose the 25-34 age range. There's nothing like selecting the next range to make you feel old. I think the only higher range that would make me feel better would be a higher tax bracket, but in this case, I just feel old.

WW folk listen up

As you know, a significant portion of our entertainment when we are back in West Windsor comes from two sources: poker/gambling, and xbox (Halo and Halo 2 in particular). Unfortunately, we do not have an xbox in West Windsor.

I know I have one, but I'll be damned if I'm lugging that thing home for a few days, plus the hassle of connecting and disconnecting it in my apartment. They also don't rent these things anymore.

THE PROPOSAL
We purchase one this holiday (probably on sale!) and split however many ways. It should be about $225 (or less) with four controllers. We would then be joint owners of the xbox, and can vote on where to keep it, preferably somewhere accessible like one of our houses, or we can bury it somewhere.

Think of it like a partnership or cooperative. Our individual liability would be something like $45 if just 5 of us go in on it!

Tell me if you're in or not, or if you have a better idea.

A lost temper

As I do quite often, I inadvertently took a 3 hour nap today. While napping, I had a dream. And in my dream, I had a temper.

Yes, I had a temper. It was quite realistic, actually. I was at some sort of meeting, and people were talking about issues. What the issues were is not important. Everyone was talking over each other and the meeting was going nowhere.

I tried to get everyone's attention to talk, and I actually threw things (I think marble tiles?) to the floor and yelled "Stop the side conversations! Stop the side conversations!". I could feel my temper rising. I was really, really angry. Almost as angry as only once before. In the end, I think I was so frustrated that I ended up storming off and quitting the group that was holding the meeting.

I woke up with my heart beating fast and I could still feel the effects of losing my temper. It was not a pleasant feeling.

I don't recall any adult seeing the results of my losing my temper ever before, and I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon - because it's not pretty. Good thing it takes a lot for me to lose my temper (more than what happened in my dream).

Company parties

Last night was my company holiday party. I've always found large gatherings of people that don't know each other at social functions to be somewhat awkward, especially when your company is organized in an extremely heirarchical way.

First of all, all the senior people stood around together. All the young people stuck together. All the support staff stuck together. And all the minorities stuck together. None of this is surprising, I suppose.

What was really interesting/funny was the dance floor. Imagine a bunch of stuffy old white men, mixed in with old, large, white women, young straight-out-of-college kids, and minorities (mostly black and hispanic). It's the epitome of "diversity", at least on a surface level (and then only by ethnicity).

Imagine everyone standing around the dance floor while the DJ desperately spins the latest grooves ("Celebration", Kool & The Gang, "Billie Jean", Michael Jackson), all kinda wanting to dance, but nobody brave enough to step onto the floor. As the night went on, and the alcohol kept flowing (it was an open bar), you could see the dance floor shrinking, but still nobody taking the bold step of going to the middle. It was almost like watching a bacteria colony growing around penicillin (you know what I'm talking about, Andy and Ann).

I had to leave in the middle, but I'm sure that as the night progressed and the alcohol took its effect, that you would have witnessed the most eclectic group of people grooving to the latest 70's and 80's hits.

My daily routine

Does anyone else wake up for work, think immediately about what to eat for breakfast, and once breakfast is consumed, spend the remainder of the morning thinking about what to eat for lunch? (Perhaps imagining the lunch and eating it in your head)

Then, spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about going home to take a nap?

Current Leader of the Commonwealth

Tips for a Speedier Santa

Here are some friendly tips for aspiring Speedy Santas:

Use a high quality mousepad made of a perfectly smooth material

Spray the mousepad with Pam®

Use an optical mouse

Clear your desk of all obstacles

Santa likes a fast start, get going as soon as the light turns green

Keep accelerating as much as you can. Santa will go faster if you let him

Eat a good breakfast. I recommend Wheaties, the breakfast of champions

Swear to name your firstborn child "lostpancake" and I guarantee you will get a faster score

Speedy Santa - League?

So Andy has formed a league so I can whoop his ass in real-time. All this proves is one point:

Is there no one that can compete with me?

High maintenance

Even though I posted about being alone and friendless in NYC a few months ago (which was for the most part true - since I feel alone even when I am around people that I know, but don't know very, very well), I am now finding myself trying to maintain three or four separate circles of friends. Some of these circles can't really be considered "circles", per se, but might just be someone I am friends with but don't know any of my other friends.

I have:

Work buddies

Old work buddies

Old work friends (who are now just "friends")

Random friends (these are the people who aren't associated with any particular circle)

Good friends (usually from college or high school)

New friends (usually through friends, or through this social club I got sucked into)

It really takes a lot of time! I always mean to email or call, but then I run out of time, or I miss the window to do so. Maybe more on this later. I'm tired.

I don't know

Do you ever start talking and just don't know what you are talking about? Yeah, me neither.

Insecurity embodied

What is embarrassment but the embodiment of insecurity? It's an emotion that arises because you are conscious and not OK with a judgment you assume/know others are making about you. As I love to dream of utopia and ideal worlds, there should never be a situation where you feel embarrassed. But it happens. Even if you are unabashed, there inevitably arise situations where you wish you had done things differently (there would be no reason to wish such if you were not insecure about the method and/or result).

I'm definitely one of those people that think of all the clever things to say after the fact. I hate this. A) It means that usually I fuck things up and B) I sound like I'm obsessing about the past. I hate it when people dwell on things that are past, but I can't say that I am innocent. In fact, I'm probably the most guilty. It's a vicious cycle, because the I hate myself for dwelling on the past.

Long story short, tonight I was out at an Irish pub. Things were relaxed and OK until this rather large (and by large, I mean his waistline) man and his father (who claimed he was 72) walked in. They appeared to be somewhat tipsy already. And the large man proceeded to harrass me.

Now, as far as harrassing goes, it was fairly tame, except for one point, when he pointed his finger at me and touched my nose. One more second of that and I probably would have been arrested. He acknowledged that I was being very patient. I'm not sure what would have happened had it lasted much longer, because I was losing my patience.

The thing was, even as it was happening, I didn't really know how to handle it, but I knew something had to be done. One embarrassing thing is that the person I was with stepped in and said something that was pretty effective in getting him to leave. I think mostly, I felt a bit like a pussy. And no matter how laid back I try to be, I am not OK with that. Strange, I am able to let things go for the most part - but tonight really made me angry. Thinking back, of course, there are tons of things I could have done differently or said.

I hope for a next time, and at the same time, I don't.

All work and no play ...

This last week I've been working quite a bit. I've pulled three 17 hour days, and the rest are about 10-12 hours. What all this has made me realise is that I have to love what I do in order to be able to work that much on a consistent basis. I just can't underestimate the importance of that to my general well-being. I've also realized how miserable I feel when I don't have a chance to take care of myself - I need to be able to work out, get out, take me time.

I really hope that I am moving down a reasonable path to fulfill both those needs.