Ownership beats renting

I've decided that I would rather buy than rent. It seems this is usually the better course of action in all arenas of life (e.g. car, house).

I think the primary reason why I think buying is better is that the challenge of buying makes it much more fun, and in the end, rewarding. Even though the process is much more drawn out (you have to do research, a lot of planning, there's a lot of uncertainty, things could fall through, it could take months), ultimately, it's much more satisfying than plopping down some exorbitant amount of money for fleeting pleasure.

There is the one downside - it might not work out. You might not be able to get that dream car you always wanted. I guess it's in that situation that you wonder about renting.

On another note, I wish that if you overate one day, that it would truly carryover to the next day. Like a car, if I fill up too much, it will take longer before my car is thirsty again. With me, if I fill up too much (for example, with sweet, sweet, barbecue ribs), I'm hungry again the next day, even though I clearly ate too much the previous day.

My theory is that whatever is mentioned last in a post is generally what gets commented on.

SBD

For some reason, when it rains in NYC, it pours. Today, it was raining so hard, it was all you could do to avoid getting soaked. This is even with an umbrella. Not only do you get wet, but everyone else being wet just makes you feel disgusting.

On the train, it's already barely tolerable when it gets crowded and everyone is squished up against you. I didn't think it could get worse, until everyone is wet and cranky.

To top it all off... hypothetically, imagine if someone had bad flatulence and couldn't help but let it loose. Given that nobody can move, it's wet and disgusting, and everyone's cranky... plus, there's no way you can tell who did it. That's what makes it such a guilty pleasure.

muhaha. (hypothetically, of course)

Buses are F-U-N

Prior to coming to NYC, I disliked buses. In fact, I eschewed them, favoring rail transportation or subway transportation if I had to take mass transit. Part of the reason is that in Chicago and Atlanta, the two previous cities I've spent any significant amount of time in with any sort of usable mass transit, the buses were not all that great.

However, in NYC, buses are my favorite. There are several reasons. First, I can almost always get a seat on the bus. Second, it's usually climate-controlled better. Third, I can see the trees and the birds and the sun. Fourth, I can peoplewatch.

It feels less claustrophobic, and waiting for a bus is usually pleasant, because you are outdoors (when the weather is nice).

Plus, you can't beat a bus for short distances. I love hopping on and hopping off buses.

The Cookies Always Know

Got a fortune cookie today that said:

"Even love sometimes shows re-runs."

Anyone have thoughts on what that means?

To Rent, or to Buy

I feel I will need to apologize in advance for the vulgar connotations of this particular post. I think many guys will understand where I'm coming from, and have probably had the thought cross their minds, even if they won't admit it.

Recently I started thinking, 'If my dream is to have the experience of driving a Ferrari, why not just pay the money and make it happen?'

I think the idea is that what is within my reach is to buy a nice family car. Maybe a slightly sporty one, like a Mini Cooper or a Honda Accord. But my dream, along with most other guys is to have a shot at a Ferrari or Lamborghini or some other disgustingly expensive, beautiful, powerful and sexy car.

The only way to have that shot for most of us will be to pay an exorbitant sum to rent it maybe for a day. But in the end, maybe it's worth it. Then you can say you've had the experience, and can move on, and settle in nicely with your Honda Accord or Toyota Camry, also very nice cars in their own right.

To be perfectly honest, I'd much rather have my trusty, dependable, slightly sleek and comfortable Camry over a Ferrari that I'd be afraid would get stolen or scratched. Plus, I'd probably have to put much more money up front into a car like a Ferrari and much more money on top of that to keep it running smooth.

So in the end, the best compromise may be to go and rent the Ferrari, but buy and love the Camry.

Guys, you know what I'm talking about.

Why do I believe?

Why on Earth do I still harbor, deep down, this belief that Northwestern could possibly have a shot at the Big 10 championship and perhaps a shot at a major bowl game each year? They have been dismal the last three years. They are good maybe every 15-25 years.

This year, they are better than they have been the last three years, playing respectable games against tough opponents (despite losing by more than 25 points today). Still, having a respectable showing is no substitute for winning.

I really shouldn't have bet that NU would win today.

Am I really that shallow?

Today I attended a happy hour hosted by a former coworker/friend. She's a part of a social club that hosts all sorts of events, and I thought I'd check it out, because, as I'd mentioned in previous posts, it's hard to meet people in NYC.

Anyway, it seemed to be pretty cool, there were young twentysomethings, a few thirtysomethings, but everyone seemed young at heart and were pretty laid back.

Then, this guy showed up. He was probably early thirties (he looked like he was my dad's age though) and quite fobby (he had a very noticeable Asian accent, and bad teeth). Ok, so the teeth thing isn't his fault, especially if he can't afford dental work. I understand that. But he literally looked like he was the type to hang out with my parents. He was attending a social event with twentysomethings. The difference between him and us was all the foreign Chinese chemistry grad students and econ or history undergrads.

Now, I just wrote a post previously about how I simply dislike people just 'cause. Now I'm writing about how I think I'm cooler than someone else (because obviously, I am). I don't know. He's probably a cool guy. But I just can't get over the fact that he looks like my dad's friend.

I hadn't had anything to eat, and I had two beers and a shot of tequila in a little less than an hour and half. That was probably not a good idea. Somehow, I got the hiccups on the way home. I can only imagine how that must have looked. Alcohol on my breath. Hiccups. Perhaps slightly flushed (damn lack of alcohol dehydrogenase).

So, my thoughts on this week's Apprentice, even though this is a day late. I don't think Stacie acted so crazy as to warrant the accusations that all the women were levying upon her. I think she got excited, or perhaps a little stressed. Everyone gets like that - it's all good. I wouldn't say it was enough to make anyone feel physically threatened (such that you would have to "hide in a corner"). Honestly, I think race had something to do with it. These women weren't frightened of Stacie, they were uncomfortable interacting with her and wanted her out. Yes, they didn't even like each other, as Trump so astutely pointed out, but I'm sure their desire to win the contest outweighed any dislike they had for each other.

That's the thing with race also - it's hard to rule it out as a factor, and I think it's unrealistic to discount it.

Crazies

Everyone always seems to think everyone else is crazy. It's never you, it's always that other dude. Oh, and it's not your close friends either, it's everyone else.

By that measure, everyone must be crazy in their own right. There must exist a infinite number of possible universes (which are bound by each person's worldview, core values and likes/dislikes) in which that person and their associates are "normal" or "alright" and everyone else is crazy or jerks.

A few years ago, I thought I had matured to the point where I didn't truly dislike anyone anymore. What was the point? Everyone's just different. Why can't we all just get along?

I was wrong. There are people I just dislike. I dislike them because I think they're an idiot, because I find them so physically unattractive that I can't be near them, because we have completely opposite worldviews (which probably leads to me thinking they're an idiot or naive), because they have zero sense of humor, because they don't like sushi, because they don't like Zoolander, because any number of things.

So much for maturity. But at least I am aware of it and I accept it.

You don't know me

Today as I was going home on the subway (the famously overcrowded 4-5-6 line), miraculously, all these seats opened up. I get on at Grand Central, where a lot of people get off to get on Metro-North or connect westbound.

So, I sat down. This would save a lot of trouble with people squeezing in later, plus people weren't really sitting down, so why waste a seat?

Two stops up, these very old ladies get on. By then, the train had gotten more crowded. They walked into the car facing away from me, and the taller lady tried to hold the overhead bar, but couldn't really reach it. Just a second or two after, the second lady, who appeared even older appeared. She was even shorter and had no hope of reaching the bar.

Now this goes back to an earlier post (8/30/04) by Eddy about giving up seats to the elderly, especially older women.

At that moment, I thought, I should give up my seat to that woman. Now picture the scene: I'm sitting by the door on the opposite side of where that woman was. There are all these people squeezed in, such that you could barely move.

Before I could offer my seat (because in these situations, I typically have this weird delay time of like 5-10 seconds), this woman on the other side closest to where the old women were gave up her seat. This shamed the riders seated next to her to also give up their seats.

Ok, so problem solved. I stayed in my seat.

Except the first woman who gave up her seat ends up standing basically right in front of me and starts talking to two adjacent riders who are also standing about why she gave up her seat, about how her grandmother who was 90 just passed away and she could barely walk and she would hate to see someone's grandmother not get a seat on the train and how she was just raised like that, blah blah. Then she proceeded to relate a story about another time on a bus when she gave up her seat and this 17 year old boy refused to get up and give up his seat.

What's wrong with that? She made a plain gesture toward me when she said "this 17 year old". I was already pissed off today about other things, and this almost made me lose it. LADY. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. DON'T PRESUME TO KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT.

I really wanted to say something, like, "Are you referring to me? " and continue to go off on her, especially since I was about to give up my seat before she did. But I was so angry I decided against it. You really should assume the best in others, and I suppose this goes both ways. But in this case, I will presume she is a self-righteous person who assumes and meddles.

On a more positive note, even though I would love to be 2" taller, today I saw two really tall guys with major problems as a result of being tall. One couldn't fit into the bus seats (his legs were too long), and another hit his head on the metal overhead bar as he stood up to disembark. I guess anything can be a curse.

Retribution

Last night, I intended to go to the gym for my twice-weekly cardio tai box class (that I know Steve secretly likes) and then maybe do some weights.

However, instead, I fell asleep at 6:45pm and did not awake until 7:30am the next morning. Yes, I slept for 12 hours and 45 minutes, missing dinner along the way.

I did not awaken unscathed - I had two unsettling dreams. Was this punishment for sleeping so much and missing my workout?

The first dream had something to do with being in someone's rather large house. There were lots of stairs and rooms. Everyone was asleep. I was in there with a few other people, and I can't remember why I was there, but I was trying to get out. Apparently, three or four men lived in this house. One woke up and was going to the bathroom. He saw me and I was forced to lock him in the bathroom.

I snuck around the house trying to escape without detection. Unfortunately, I ended up dispatching the remaining roommates on my way out of the house. I believe I dispatched them with a silencer-equipped gun.

The second dream involved an insect that had attached itself to my houseplant. In my dream, this houseplant was very important to me, like an old family friend, but apparently, I had not been taking care of it properly and it was growing out of control. It needed pruning. Luckily, my sister drove a miniature spaceship replete with miniature missiles. Well, at first the plant was sitting at the top of a window on the frame. I took aim with the miniature spaceship and fired. I missed - and expected an unfortunate explosion. Instead, the plant fell (insect and all) to the ground and the missile lodged in the shades, unexploded.

The next part consisted of trying to get the missle down safely, near the insect so I could detonate it and destroy the insect (don't ask me why the plant would still be OK, but somehow it would be). Well, I finally got the missile to detonate (but by this time, the missle turned into a white capsule looking thing). I was knocked off my feet, and opened my eyes in time to see the insect shake itself, generating what looked like rain that fell from its underside, and then escape through the open front door.

I looked out the door to see, with disappointment, the insect hop in my car and drive off.

It was a sad moment indeed, to have my car stolen by an alien insect.

Knowing that dreams are often our subconscious minds speaking to us, making sense of what we've experienced or learned, I spent maybe a minute trying to decipher the meaning of these two dreams.

I'm baffled.

Time to talk politics

Most of my posts are the "Seinfeld"-eque type observations on everyday life or things that happen to me.

Well, today, I want to try my hand at some light political commentary.

Even though I don't think Kerry is the ideal presidential candidate (and Edwards definitely makes the package more palatable), I think he is definitely better than the vacuous alternative and incumbent. I am at best frightened that Bush might win the presidency again, continuing on his path of destroying all semblance of international cooperation and thus alienating our allies, provoking governments like North Korea toward drastic action, and systematically destroying domestic institutions like public education and social security.

It confounds me that any sort of majority can possibly think Bush is doing a good job as president, even as he erodes our personal liberties (which, I believe the Republicans believe in?? Less government involvement?). Not to mention - even though he's simply a puppet for his father's big-oil interests and Vice President Cheney, he is easily the least eloquent, and, despite being educated at Yale and Harvard, appears to be the poorest educated president in recent memory. That alone should alarm people. You want a president you feel is smarter than you.

In lieu of a concluding statement, all I will say is I hope I don't lose it if Bush wins.

Points of no return

Just like in Harold & Kumar go to White Castle, there are situations where there is simply a point of no return.

In the movie, the point of no return to go back and get a cell phone (I think it was) was something like twenty feet from the apartment.

Well, I think you basically only have one shot to introduce yourself to someone you see on a daily basis - that is, unless something new happens that gives you an opening comes up.

But in most cases, say, you wait at a bus stop every day at the same time, and there's someone that waits with you at the same time every day, if you don't break the ice the first time you see them, then it will become increasingly awkward to introduce yourself.

In the same vein, if you meet someone and then promptly forget their name (like I often do), with each passing moment that you don't ask for their name again, it becomes increasingly impossible to ask again.

Any other points of no return?

Hairy bellies

Usually I love riding the subway in New York. It's just convenient and pretty fast (unless you have to transfer).

However, during rush hour, riding the subway is pretty brutal. They're really crowded and people push and pull to get on. It's worse if the air conditioning happens to go out on the car that you happen to get on.

Today, I'm standing in the middle of the car headed back home on the 1-9, which is crowded even on weekends. We were packed almost to the brim, and this woman (who happens to be Asian), pushed her way onto the train and decided that she would try to move past me. I lean forward and am almost on top of this man who is sitting with his eyes closed.

Except... she didn't move past me. She thought she would stop right behind me. So I'm off-kilter and using all my strength to try not to fall over onto this man in front of me and not get thrown to either side when the train starts or stops. All I could think about was how annoyed I was at this woman.

Anyway, everyone finally starts getting off around Times Square. I get a seat (yes!) but this lady gets on and stand right in front of me. Normally, I'm all fine with a lady standing in front of me, except this one was forty or so, short, pudgy and her shirt didn't cover her all the way. Thus, I was treated to the sight of a hairy belly button. I think on men they're called "love trails", but somehow, it didn't seem to work on a woman.

Sorry, ladies - I don't know if it's instinctual or if it's socialized, but women are just not allowed to be hairy. I think men look better not hairy too, but it seems to be OK.

So that's this post. The hairy belly inspired me.

Lesser organisms and the smell of fear

So lately, remnants of my brother staying at my apartment have resulted in the proliferation of fruit flies. I would say somewhere on the order of 10-20 fruit flies resided in my apartment over the last two weeks. I finally decided to get rid of them.

Apparently, you can use red wine vinegar (it has to be red wine vinegar so it's like a fermented fruit) in the bottom of a bottle to attract fruit flies. You pour some into a bottle with a small neck, and the fruit flies fly in and eventually drown in the vinegar.

Anyway, the attracting part was working, but I was getting impatient for the drowning bit - and the flies were sort of hanging out on the outside of the bottle. So I decided to speed up the process by taking a ziploc bag, opening it, and then putting it on top of the bottle so that the flies would fly into the bag, at which point I would take the bag, close it, and squash each fly caught.

The first 10 or so were easy. However, after that, it got harder and harder to catch them this way.

I wonder if they can smell the death of their fellow fruit flies. I wonder if they smell the fear of other flies trying to escape being squashed, and that's why they fly away with more urgency (because sometimes, they just sort of hover, other times, they jet!).

Anyway, it's been a great challenge killing these fruit flies. I think there are still three left.

Less oxygen to the brain = more fun

You know, I used to be one of those people who thought, 'What's the point of alcohol? You don't need booze to have fun!'

Well, I've changed my mind. I think alcohol makes things much more fun. You do things you wouldn't normally do (because you no longer care about social convention) and you say things you normally wouldn't say (for the same reasons), and everyone seems much more open.

Why isn't that a good thing? I mean, not that I think everyone should be constantly buzzed, but it sure would make life that much more interesting.

Plus, you can always claim not to remember saying something or doing something the next day. It's win-win.

Drink responsibly. Don't drink and drive. Also, don't drink and blog. Definitely don't feed alcohol to puppies and kittens.

I (sometimes) sweat the small stuff

Ok, so I think I just wrote a post recently that I don't worry about things that I can't control.

However, I can sometimes get REALLY, REALLY annoyed about little things that go wrong that I can control.

Yesterday, such a thing happened. The day before, I was carrying a lot of stuff, so I took my monthly, unlimited (and expensive) metrocard out of my wallet and put it in my shirt pocket for easy access. Worked well.

Yesterday, I go through my usual morning routine, get to the bus stop and wait for my bus, as usual. Finally, the bus comes. It's at this moment that I pull out my wallet and realize that I left my unlimited metrocard at home, still in the shirt pocket. It was a good thing I had my backup card - but I was really annoyed that I was now paying extra to ride the bus when I had an unlimited metrocard.

I contemplated going home to get my unlimited metrocard, but then, I would have been late to work. Plus, I had already waited 5 minutes for this bus to come. It would probably take me 5 minutes to walk home, another 5 minutes to walk back to the bus stop, and another 5 minute wait before the bus would show. This just annoyed me further.

I spent most of the day thinking about how stupid it was to leave my unlimited card at home. Not only that, but this meant that my route home would be limited because I wouldn't have the freedom to leave the subway and get back on if I wanted to (not that I really needed it - but it was just the thought).

In some cases, I am more annoyed with wasting money than I am with wasting time, but both really bother me. In this case, I was wasting money (it ended up being $8.00 over the course of the day), which I chose over wasting the time to go get the unlimited card. Even though in the long run, $8.00 is a drop in the bucket, it still incenses me. I mean, $8.00 almost enough to get a family bucket of KFC fried chicken!

I could have enjoyed a bucket of fried chicken, but no. I left my unlimited metrocard at home.

Being "well-rounded" is a curse

This is somewhat inspired by Scrabble Lover's comment a few posts back, and fueled by recent deliberations about what I want my future to be like.

You hear all through high school that it's good to be well-rounded. Well, surprise, I actually listened and now I desire to be well-rounded. What does this mean for me? It means I want to be athletic (or play sports, and be good at at least one), it means I want to hone some musical skill (for me, I hope to rekindle my dormant potential for trombone), have reasonable social skills, be good enough at Halo to beat Andy, be well organized, be well read, be politically savvy, be articulate, be creative in some way (either writing, visual arts, or both), be an OK breakdancer, be a reasonable martial artist, be flexible enough to do a split, be able to do front and back handsprings, be a decent ballroom dancer, be an epicure and a decent chef, understand wines and other drinks, properly learn my mother tongue... you get the picture. This is only a short list of the things I want to be reasonably good at.

I realized last night at cardio tai box class that I just don't have time for all of this. I mean, when would I have time to do all this? I don't even have time right now to take my martial arts classes AND go to my gym. Plus, I have to watch my special TV shows like Enterprise, Top Model, and Alias. This becomes even a bigger issue when you consider pursuing a career.

I don't think there's any career that you can pursue that will give you enough time to do all the things you want to do. If I wanted to be a doctor, I would spend all my time at the hospital. If I wanted to be a lawyer, I'd spend all my time at the firm. If I wanted to be a director, I'd spend all my time working on my films. Any real career will be something like 12+ hour workdays. I can't think of any career that I would want to do that would allow me time to pursue hobbies, save for one or two very focused ones. Unless, I were to a) get really filthy rich and just not work (but usually hard work is what leads to wealth - you don't really see Trump painting, he spends all his time doing business, even when he's not doing business) or b) take a 9-5 job with no real responsibility, some sort of mindless work.

Now, I totally respect people who either choose to or have to take such jobs. But I would go crazy. I also can't deny that I would feel like the work was a little demeaning, despite how much I'd tell myself that it was a choice.

I just want it all. I probably can't have it all - I just hope I don't die disappointed.

Double standard?

I've decided that it's almost impossible for men to be sexually harassed. I don't know about other men, but I think I could take some unwanted sexual advances. It's almost flattering. I think guys are so used to being the aggressors, it's almost refreshing when girls take some initiative. Unless the woman was extremely unattractive, I don't think any guy would feel strongly enough about an unwanted sexual advance to say anything about it. Then again, I don't think sex usually plays any role in a man's career opportunities, so that's another way that it's different, I suppose.

In other news, New York City got record rainfall today. It took me two hours to get to work, when usually it takes me 25 minutes. You couldn't get on a subway or bus or cab if you wanted to. I was lucky and was able to squeeze onto a bus, but only after I was already 1.5 hours late. I think a lot of people were stressed out, but lately, I don't get stressed about about that kind of stuff anymore - what can you do? It's out of your control. And usually things turn out OK anyway. So why worry? (This, despite my being known as a "worry wart" in 6th grade)

What if... & Stereotypes

You always think that if you were in a certain situation, you might act or feel differently than what you hear other people doing, or what you observe. Or, at least you'd like to think that you are different, maybe better.

Today, while waiting for the bus, I overheard two women talking behind me. They were talking about a man that one of the woman had been seeing. After a lengthy discussion about some phone calls and how the man seemed indifferent, yet harped on minutiae (indicating some attachment, I suppose), they decided that you can't do anything about men - they they'll try to have a woman and a girl on the side if they could.

I'm standing there thinking, "Naw, I'd never do that." Yet, if I really think deep down, I must admit - I can't say that I would never consider it. I guess it just gives credence to conventional wisdom.

Later, on the bus ride home, there are these middle or high school kids in the way back-two boys and three girls. School just started up again in New York City. These kids were obviously from some prep school, given a) their race b) their dress and c) how they were behaving. They gave off a distinctly pretentious and sophmoric aura. Of course, the boys had tousled, wavy medium length hair, and the girls had braces, pristine, straight hair and perfect complexions. One of the boys was lounging with his head in the lap of one of the girls, and the whole time, he was speaking in half-pseudo-French, which was a bit annoying.

The whole time, all I could think about was the movie Igby Goes Down. And about how much these kids seemed to match the stereotype of stuck-up, pretentious prep school kids portrayed in that movie and what seems to be the commonly accepted image of prep school kids. Why would you act that way, knowing you come across as a rich, spoiled snob? Or, maybe, they don't even realize it.

Back to the future

I don't know if it's everyone I know talking about what their future plans are (or lack therof) that's making me think about my future plans too.

At the moment, I think I have plans. My plans are to take the LSATs and apply to law schools, perhaps joint law/mpp programs.

However, today, on the commute home I got to thinking. What do I really want out of life? Will I be happy having a good job, and perhaps having upward mobility but doing something not terribly meaningful? I guess the meaning would come from attaining status, but that in itself, is not appealing to me (though I'll admit, I can't totally shun the allure of status/power).

On the other hand, I have a passion for working with children and non-profit type work, where the work has a direct impact on the people you're trying to help.

And on my third hand, I enjoy creating, building, making. I've always though industrial design would be great fun.

So I guess my dilemma is I don't want to specialize. I want to do it all, but I have to prioritize what I'm going to invest my energy and time into. Am I going to work on a law degree and get experience that will let me perhaps start a company and make things happen? Am I going to get the training I need to do work in the public sector? Am I going to go a different route than I've gone currently and try to break into the world of industrial design?

They will all require a significant investment in time, effort and money. But which of my interests/passions am I willing to place on the back burner or relegate to a hobby or perhaps retirement activity?

The pressure is great - because you don't want to get stuck doing something you hate, or live wondering "what if".

My greatest weakness?

Anyone who knows me know that it's very, very difficult for me not to finish the food on my plate. I feel really bad if there is any food leftover, and often, I'll eat until I'm too full. (Thank goodness for doggie bags) It's just the way I was raised - you don't waste food. I will eat my rice until the last grain, I will drink my soup to the last drop, and I will make a random stew from whatever tidbits are left in my fridge (before it all goes south, of course).

Along those lines, I can't resist free food. Part of it is I don't want it to go to waste (since usually, everything is thrown out afterward). The other part, is... I don't know! Maybe it's still residual programming from college, but if there's free food around, I have to check it out. I often have to make myself not eat anything or take anything (because usually I'm not hungry or I don't have anywhere to put the food at the time).

What's worse, is if I'm hungry, and I see "free" food out, but it's not put out expressly for me (or whatever group I'm with), then I have a weird inner dilemma. On the one hand, I'm hungry. And I like to take advantage of not having to spend money on food as much as possible (the frugal side of me). On the other hand, the food isn't really for me. But usually, the food is leftover, or whomever it was for has finished (you know, like buffets set out for conferences, etc). So I take some. But I feel really guilty.

Yesterday, I also saw this lady on the subway asking everyone for money to help feed her children. Her story was that her husband died recently, she lost her job, and her relatives won't help. So far, nothing new. You will see this on the subway all the time. What was different, was this woman was white. And she looked fairly OK, in terms of not what you think when you think someone who is asking for handouts. I think more people gave money to her because of that. You never know when the need is real, though, because you always hear about people who panhandle and make good money, live in an apartment, etc.

However, I also know how desperate you must be if you are an honest, hardworking person to have to ask for money. Once, I was at the airport and I literally was short 40 cents for my train fare home. I didn't have any more cash, and I didn't have my wallet for some reason. I ran through my options, and I ended up asking strangers for change so that I could get 40 cents to make my fare. It's just 40 cents right? But that's always the story you hear when panhandlers come - "I just need enough money to take the bus home. Please help me with some change." That must have been how I sounded. Most people just walked by and gave me nasty looks. But a few people actually helped me and I scraped together the 40 cents I needed. I wonder if the fact that I looked like an innocuous Asian kid helped.

I also wonder how you can tell if the story people are telling is for real or not. How can you truly judge need?