I am a spamming robot. I will spam you.

Anyone else having trouble coming up with email subjects that don't sound like spam?

Some of my recent subject lines:

"Try these tests"

"you will enjoy this."

"(no subject)"

"Something weird"

"Hi"

Also try reading the most interesting blog I've seen lately.

40 years behind

I have another observation that supports my assertion that China is about 40 years behind the U.S. in development.  

I watched Capote recently.  In the movie, set in 1959, Truman Capote travels across the country in a sleeper train--exactly how most Chinese travel now, in 2006.

Previously, I mentioned the lack of dryers, and how everyone line dries their clothes--as most Americans did in the 50s (also from a movie, Big Fish).  

Of course, I'm assuming these movies protrayed American life in the 50s and 60s accurately.

Actually, it's more like there's this huge gap.  About 5% of the population lives like it's 2006 in the U.S., with Viking ranges, BMWs, the latest cell phones and computers... while the rest of the population is struggling to get by. 

The latter are less fortunate, and about 40 years behind the times and are the ones who will try to cheat or extract an extra 1 or 2 RMB ($0.125-$0.25) from you. 1 or 2 RMB is a fair amount of money for these people.  It can sometimes be enough for an entire meal.  

The dichotomy is interesting--and heartbreaking to see.  

Modeling

I've had multiple people tell me my hands are pretty and well-formed.  Lately, I've been dreaming of becoming a hand model.  

Anyone know how I can crack the biz?

History repeats itself

The first time it happened, I was in Atlanta. I thought, hey, let's forgo the usual Supercuts and try out the neighborhood barbershop. I tell the guy, "just a little off the top". Before I could react, I saw a large tuft of hair fall in front of my eyes in slow motion, as the buzz from the shaver whizzes past my ears. I ended up with an inadvertent buzz cut that day.

It happened again today. Only today, I tell the lady, "just a trim all around" in Chinese. Apparently I am misunderstood. Whenever I get my hair cut in China, I make sure to watch carefully to make sure my instructions are clear, since I'm pretty sure they don't cover barbershop phrases in the book.

I watched intently, but couldn't figure out what she was doing. She didn't use the razor, instead exclusively using the thinner shears. How do you cut hair using only thinner shears? Maybe that's how they do it in China, I thought, especially since everyone seems to like having these really awful looking feathered poofy haircuts so that from the back, you can't tell if it's a girl or a boy. Well, often, you can't tell from the front either.

Before I knew it, I had observed too long. And I knew that I would be leaving with a buzz cut. Dammit.

Baozi (包子)

Today I happened upon a small hole-in-the-wall baozi place. The translation of its Chinese name was "specialty baozi shop". And boy were they good. Baozi are steamed buns with a filling, usually meat. This place had really nice baozi of all types, including vegetable, pork, mushroom, beef, chicken, and even sweet sesame. Mmmm....

I love baozi because they're just a nice package of food. One baozi hits the spot if you just need a snack and two or three make a meal. They're like sandwiches that can't fall apart.

My mom used to make baozi all the time when I was a kid. Once in fourth grade, I brought two baozi to school for lunch. With great anticipation, I asked the lunchladies to help me warm them up. The aroma of the heated baozi only increased my sense of urgency as I hurried to my seat. "What are those?" My friend Larry asked. "Baozi." I replied, about to take my first bite. Then I saw how he was eyeing them, with the slightest hint of saliva about to drip out of the corner of his mouth, and I knew I had to share the goodness that was my mother's baozi.

"Here you go," I said, as I gave him my second baozi. "Thanks!" Larry's eyes lit up as he took the offering, and eagerly took a bite.

What happened next, I did not expect.

Larry spit out the bite of baozi and let the rest of it slip out of his hands and fall on the floor.

"What was that for??" I demanded. A small piece of me had died. My mother's baozi. My empty stomach. All sacrificed for this ungrateful SOB.

"Was that pork? I'm Jewish. I can't eat pork!"

Well why didn't you say so before dammit!

Things that China inexplicably lacks

Paper towels

Napkins

Lint rollers

Vaseline (for the lips, people!)

Compressed air dusters (it's really dusty here)

Legal pads with a cardboard back

Studio 60, we hardly knew ye

Rumor has it that Studio 60 is about to be canceled.  And from a strictly business standpoint, it probably makes sense.  It went from ranking #22 the first week in the ratings to #50-something recently.  Not good for a show that costs $2-3MM per episode to produce.

Unfortunately, this is one of the few shows that have come out this season that I really look forward to.  Some of my previous mainstays-- Alias and The West Wing are finished.  Others, like Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis are on hiatus, as is 24.  This season?  I've got Battlestar: Galactica, Heroes, and Studio 60.  

I really hope Studio 60 doesn't get canceled.  It's one of the smarter shows on right now, but it seems smart can't compete with the likes of America's Next Top Model and Beauty & The Geek (the latter I actually find entertaining).  That's what led to the cancellation of great shows like The Critic and Invader Zim.  

So everyone, let's keep watching Studio 60.  It's worth it.

The Areas of my Expertise

For some reason I've always wanted to be "well-read". Witness copies of Crime and Punishment, Pride and Prejudice, Origin of Species, and The Federalist Papers on my bookshelf.

Only Crime and Punishment has been opened, read as a requirement of a Russian literature class. More well-worn books include such titles as Source of Magic, Wizard's First Rule, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes, and 101 Knock-Knock Jokes: A Sure-fire Way to be the Life of the Party.

I watch a lot of TV. I'd like to think I watch "smart" television. You know, stuff like The West Wing. The more TV I watch, though, the more I realize that most of my cultural awareness comes from the bits that the writers of TV shows choose to work into their scripts. I find I have to do Google searches in order to understand what they're talking about on Studio 60 sometimes.

Maybe if I spent less time watching TV and more time reading...

The meaning of words

Rice vows 'full range' defense of Japan

"Full range"?  Of course we all know what that means.  It means that the U.S. will nuke North Korea into smithereens if it tries anything stupid.  

So why use the euphemism, when everyone knows what it means?  Does it really make a difference?  Would there be a different response if Rice simply said, "Yo, North Korea.  Don't you make us come up in there.  You know we'll nuke yo ass."

I find that people try to euphemize (is that a word?) the truth a lot.  We don't want to hurt people's feelings.  I think ambiguity is worse.  

But in this case, there is no ambiguity either way.  So why bother?

Addiction

I am so incredibly addicted to Pringles right now it's not funny.  

Is there such a thing as PA?

Colored lenses

What would you say if you were asked, "what are the four or five most memorable experiences, whether great or small?"

The first four things, well, first twenty things, for that matter, that came to my mind were all negative things.  Like the time I had a ski accident that left me injured for six months.  Or the car accident that nearly killed me.  

I racked my brain for more positive memories, but the negative ones are by far the most memorable.

They say, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.  I must be pretty damn strong.  

The Wonder Years

I've always wanted a life that was out of the ordinary.  Maybe even extraordinary.  I've never wanted to be the same as everyone else (and some of my friends would argue, there's no way I could ever be like everyone else).

So I've eschewed what I considered at the time to be "typical" experiences: engaging in the party scene in college, getting a normal job with good benefits, etc.  I dropped everything like a hat and done went to China.  

But with the passing weeks, I find myself yearning more and more for something ordinary.  Just a job.  A decent job.  A nice little place.  A trajectory that leads to a wife and kids, maybe a dog.  Of course the two car garage replete with outdoor grill stashed in the corner next to a set of dusty golf clubs.  

I used to think it was a shame that some of my friends wanted the simple life.  Why not go out and do something extraordinary?  Now, I think it's something I want more than ever.

Latest triumph

One thing that gets me about China-- all the bread is sweet.  I'd always taken it for granted when I was in the U.S., bread, should taste like bread... unless it's sweet bread!  

In China, it's the opposite.  Bread is sweet, even when the package says, "AMERICAN-STYLE" the bread is sweet.  You can tell as soon as you open the package, you get a puff of sickly-sweetness. 

So every time I buy bread, I try to look for bread that might not be sweet.  It helps that I can now recognize the characters for "sweet" and "cane sugar".  I still have to pick through what Chinese consider bread: "milk bread", "cereal bread", "corn bread" (which is not corn bread, but bread with bits of corn kernels).  I've finally found bread that isn't sweet.  Or, rather, isn't AS sweet.  The package says in English, "SALT BUTTER STYLE".  I thought that was a good indicator, and I decided to try it.  Jackpot.  

But I still miss my whole wheat and rye.  Especially a nice Jewish rye, complete with seeds.

Old mainstays

Over the years, I've acquired a taste for certain comfort foods that I just can't do without.  Even while in China, I have to have these foods:

1) Ritz, I always keep a stack in the house!

2) JIF (ok, this isn't available here, so I settle for Skippy), nothing beats JIF's fresh-roasted peanut taste!

3) Strawberry jam, if I've gotta eat jam, it's gotta be strawberry!

4) Sharp cheddar cheese, nobody does it like Vermont.  But alas, no Vermont cheddar here, have to settle for New Zealand cheddar.

Mmm... beer

I mentioned that I went on a trip to Qingdao a few weekends ago, home of the world-famous (or at least China-famous) Tsingtao beer.  

What I neglected to mention was the fact that Tsingtao sells these beer peanuts that are SO SO TASTY.  Seriously, they are so good.  They have a subtle curry flavor and a delightful crunch.  

The sad thing: they are only sold at the Tsingtao brewery store ... IN QINGDAO.  

I have not given up hope, though, of finding these scrumptious Tsingtao peanuts in Beijing, although preliminary Google and Ebay searches have been fruitless.

Quest for Popeye's

I recently dreamt about KFC.  But now, I'm craving Popeye's chicken and biscuits.  Especially the biscuits.  Chinese KFCs do not have biscuits, despite large pictures of them all over the walls.  Quite cruel, if you ask me.  

So it looks like the nearest city that has Popeye's is Dalian (大连), a 10 hour train ride for about $50 RT, or a 1 hour flight for about $150 RT.  I'm seriously contemplating this.  It's a very difficult decision.

Is it worth it for a $5 bucket of spicy cajun fried chicken and savory biscuits?

For Eddy

Today is the day before tomorrow. Specifically, tomorrow being the start of a new term. So today, there are lots of anxious new students, scrambling to figure out everything such as visas, where to get a bike, how to get to the dining hall, etc.

Just last term I remember thinking, how am I going to get through this? I can't read at all. My spoken Chinese is pitiful. Even when I find the place to, say, get my dining card, I can't communicate well enough to tell them what I want to do.

Somehow, I muddled through it. And now, it all feels old hat. There's something cleansing about starting anew.

So today, I'm going to go take care of a few minutiae. Get my tennis racquet restrung and regripped. Maybe buy some fruit. Did my laundry... check. It's funny how I always feel so accomplished just by doing some of these little things. If I just go out and buy milk I feel like I've done something important. Maybe because it's so easy to just sit at home and do nothing, and have hours and sometimes days pass you by.

KFC

I'm not sure if it's due to the domination of the fast-food market, or because it's ever so tasty, but I dreamt about fried chicken last night. Specifically, fried chicken from KFC.

It's really a strange phenomenon in China, but KFC is considered a high-end sort of place; it's where you go to show off your wealth, and where a lot of first dates happen.

Since I always took my first dates to KFC in the U.S., I must be ahead of the curve.

Choose your own adventure

If I asked those of you that know me well what words you would use to describe me, I'm sure one of them would not be "adventurous".  

Actually, I'd really rather not know the words you all would use to describe me.

Some of you have passions like volleyball, or riding your bike in riverside park, or restoring old clock towers.  Maybe even dining out, or retinas.  Me?  I'd be perfectly content sitting on the couch watching an entire season of Alias while consuming a "Family Size" bag of dark russet potato chips.  In fact, I'd say that's my preferred activity.

Even though my natural state is one of idleness, somehow, I've ended up taking a non-traditional route up to now.  Whereas most of my friends have done some variation of school-job-school-career, or school-school-career, often living near home or near their alma mater, somehow I've ended up in three U.S. cities and now one half-way around the world.  

Sometimes I wish I had done something more traditional. I wonder how my life would have turned out.

The Night Bus

One thing that makes China special is with over a billion people, and lots of places to go, you come across interesting transport options.  

You can often find the newest Audis and Lexuses driving alongside makeshift three-wheeled motorcarts and horse-drawn carraiges.  

An option that I particularly like is the concept of an overnight train or bus.  If these were available in the U.S., I would definitely take them!  If you think about it, you can travel somewhere really far away (say, from New York to Chicago), a trip that is usually 14+ hours by car and 3+ hours by plane, overnight.  You go to bed on the train or bus, and you wake up at your destination.  Awesome.

China's complete lack of concern for public safety has also allowed the invention of the sleeper bus.  Beds on buses!  It works in a pinch.  Also, with over a billion people, you get used to being in tight quarters.  On my sleeper bus from Qingdao back to Beijing last night, a group that was desperate to get back to Beijing ended up taking spots in the aisles.  So I was literally shoulder to shoulder with a random old Chinese woman.  How's that for traveling in style?

Packaging engineering at its best

In the US, you see some necessary compromises when it comes to packaging.  Some space is wasted in order to protect the product, for example, in bags of potato chips, a certain volume is air to keep the chips from turning into potato dust.  

In China, this is taken to a whole other level with cereals.  You see a relatively small box of cereal.  You expect at least 75% of the box to be ... cereal.  What you find instead is a sealed bag that takes up 50% of the volume in the box filled 50% with cereal.  This is why Chinese people are thin.  Calorie-dense foods like hamburgers and potato chips are just too damn expensive!

Bristow vs. Bauer

I've just recently started watching 24.  I discovered quickly why it's called 24.  It's hard not to spend 24 hours  a day watching 24.  There are very few shows that have this effect on me-- but one of them was Alias.  I think my record was 6 episodes of Alias in a row, and I stopped only because my ass really hurt and my bladder tore a little.  

There's no doubt: Jack Bauer is one tough mofo.  After all, he singlehandedly took out an entire room full of hostiles, who were expecting him.  

However, after careful thought and reflection, I still have only one conclusion: Sidney Bristow is badder than Jack will ever be.  

I say "still" because a friend who is a big 24 fan tried to convince me that Jack is the mother of all mofos.  His credibility on this issue has been damaged because 1) he's never seen Alias and 2) he's so so wrong.

Chatty Kathies

I'm not very talkative, sometimes.  In general, I like to listen, think through my thoughts before verbalizing them.  I also find that I get to know people best through time, no  t by asking 20 questions.  It's actually something I mean to work on, since I have trouble engaging people right off the bat.

But there are times when I think silence is warranted.  For example, when I am on a long flight.   Or when I'm in a taxi going home after a long day.  The worst is when the taxi driver is chatty.  In China it's particularly bad, because I can't understand them through their thick accents half the time, and the other half of the time, I just plain don't understand.  So I just smile and nod, but they keep asking me questions and I feel obligated to at least acknowledge the interaction.

I wish people would just get the drift sometimes.  Stop talking to me!  There's no point to this conversation!  Is there?

A new phobia

I think I am afraid of clowns.

Plain view

In China, everyone, whether they want to or not, is intimately acquainted.  Since drying machines are either ineffective or unavailable, almost everyone line dries their clothes.  This means that everyone has seen everyone's unmentionables.  

That means whites have to be kept more than white, and colors have to be kept their original color.  Maybe this indicates China is a more "open" society than most think.  

Not so rose-colored glasses

I always thought that if something felt good at the time you did it, it should stay good.  For example, if you had an awesome time at a concert, but your car got stolen while you were at the concert, the concert should still have been an awesome time.

Likewise, say, you don't tell someone something until after a dinner, or a party, so they have a good time there.  When you tell them later, does it erase the good time they had?

Unfortunately, it seems so.  My last 6 months in China were great... up until the 5th month or so.  Now, my entire China experience feels shitty.  When I think back on it, I know I felt really great at the time, but now I can only feel regret, or disappointment.  

It sucks that feelings are retroactive.

Rememberies

People often say I have more beauty products than a girl, and while I contest that assertion, I do like to moisturize my hands.  And there's a very good reason for that.  

I once got ringworm on my hand (it's like athlete's foot on your hand) in the first few months of teaching when I first started with Teach For America.  It was the first time I used chalk a lot, and my hands were very dry from the chalk.  That's apparently one good way to get ringworm, dry, chapped hands.  So after I cured my ringworm, I started to moisturize my hands like crazy.  I'm teaching at a camp in a poor Chinese school in the outskirts of Beijing, so I've been writing a lot with chalk for the first time in a few years.  

I got involved in this camp through a group in China that focuses on enhancing the lives of migrant children.  Migrant children are in a very precarious situation in China, straddling the grey, murky area of the law.  Technically, it is illegal for people in China to leave their hometown or province without the proper paperwork (e.g. if they get into a university in another province). 

Well, there are probably hundreds of thousands, if not millions of migrant workers in China, busily digging and building for the 2008 Olympics.  Well, since they're not technically allowed here, their children can't go to the local public schools.  Where do the children go?  Turns out local businessmen open up "black market" private schools.  

So far, the children are great.  They are so bright, and full of energy, it's really a shame that they are relegated to less than stellar education.  I just hope I can help make their experience with the camp a good one.

That Place

I envy all of you who have a "place".  I don't have a place.  I have nowhere that I feel so intimately attached to that leaving would manifest itself as physical ailment.  No place that feels like "home", no city to call my own.

For a lot of you, it's California, or Chicago, or New York.  

I've now spent time in: California, New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, Chicago, Taiwan, Malaysia, Beijing, Hong Kong, and London.  

None of them are mine.  Yet.  I'm not sure I can ever put down roots in just one place, and be content, like the hordes of people that never even venture beyond the borders of their hometown.  

Or maybe, home really is where the heart is.  So where is mine?

The return of masculinity?

I'm a big fan of Tucker Max. Even though he's a self-described, and from the sounds of it, real-life asshole, I find his stories to be hilarious.

Hypocritical, perhaps, because I disagree with most of his views and his outlook on life. Most recently, he wrote about a fellow internet star's new book, called "The Alphabet of Manliness". And, predictably, Tucker goes on a rant about the return of masculinity and how everyone should fuck off.

But somehow, Tucker believes stereotypical masculinity somehow equates with being a "man". I believe firmly that the two are mutually exclusive. Just as being really feminine has nothing to do with being a woman, being really masculine has nothing to do with being a man.

What exactly is being masculine anyway? Must it be what Tucker embodies? Must it mean a complete and utter lack of empathy, being self-absorbed and a lack of sensitivity? Granted I don't know Tucker personally, but you get the idea quick once you start reading his site. It would seem from his rant that he does believe he represents what it means to be "manly".

Later, he blogs about finding a girl to do his laundry, for free, for sex, or for barter (a couple of the books he's written, for example). At one point, he says in response to why he gets a girl to come do his laundry, "BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN". I figure that's the attitude that Tucker would like to think makes him more of a man than the next. I think it's pretty sad, not only that he does this, but that he thinks it makes him superior in some way.

Back

After a 20+ hour trip, I'm finally back in the U.S.  It was really only supposed to be a 15ish hour trip, but as my luck would have it, my flight was delayed 3 hours before departure, and then delayed another hour upon arrival.  There is nothing worse than to be 10 minutes from landing (after a 12 hour flight) and then being told that you'll be in a holding pattern for 30-40 minutes.  

A long wait to get through customs, and finally... freedom!

I have about a week and a half before I head to childhood friend Jason's wedding.  Got to enjoy my time as much as possible while I'm here!

Requiem

NU's Coach Walker died last night.  He was good for NU football, and I had high hopes for this season.  Now, who knows what will happen?  Sincerest condolences to his family.

Spock's Dilemma

Rational thought is what separates homo sapiens from other species, right?

So why do feelings conflict so often with rational thought?  

It's not that the logic isn't sound, it's that it's just not how I feel.  I feel something so contrary to logic that it's hard to convince myself of the truth.  And even when I finally see clearly the soundness of the logic, I still can't wrestle my mind away from irrational emotion.  

Some part of me knows that it's also this emotion that sets us apart, that makes us human, that makes life worth living.  They say that you have to take the highs with the lows in order to truly live.  It just so often feels like the lows outnumber the highs, or that there won't be enough highs coming to ever balance the lows.

It's been quite a while since I last posted, and this time it's not because there is nothing to post about.  So much has happened in the last few months that it's difficult to know where to start.  

First, I'm learning a lot-- not only about China and Chinese, but about myself.  I no longer feel like a guest in someone's house, but almost like I belong here.  It's actually the closest I've felt to actually belonging somewhere.  

So the next question I usually get is, 'Do you plan on staying in China?' The truth is, I don't know.  But it's no longer outside the realm of possibility.

There's also something liberating about living in a foreign country.  I don't feel as restricted by societal norms, and I'm more willing to try new things.  After all, I'm a foreigner; I don't know any better!  At the same time, since I look Chinese, I can blend in when I want to, and simply disappear into the backdrop of 1.5 billion people.  

Recently returned from a 2-week trip to Sichuan province.  It was one of the most memorable times of my life, not only because of the breathtaking vistas but also because of my travel companions, some of whom have become rather good friends.  I think I'll actually be sad when the semester comes to a close and everything scatters into the wind.

China on $50 a weekend

This past weekend I took a mini-trip to Chengde, a medium sized city about 4 hours by train from Beijing.  

Some highlights:

• Taking the bus is slow, frustrating and cramped.  Buses apparently have no regulations and regularly pick up random passengers who wait by freeway entrances in an effort to make an extra buck.  We wasted almost 2 hours because our bus was trying to pick up passengers.
• Bargaining really is an art.  You can even bargain for the hotel room.  The place we stayed in the first night made a huge show of how much nicer they were than another place down the street, even saying "We guarantee 24 hour hot water!".  Untrue.  Yay cold showers.
• The Imperial Summer Villa was breathtaking.  It's good to be Emperor.
• Temples everywhere.  We only saw two.  Turns out nowadays, temples = gift shops.
• Almost got into a fistfight because a taxi driver tried to cheat us out of 1.60 RMB (approximately $0.20).
• Called the local authorities on a breakfast place for trying to cheat us out of 20 RMB (~$2.50)
• Tried Chinese white wine, 8 RMB a bottle (~$1).  Only 56% alcohol, but went down like fire.  I'll stick to 151.
• Entire trip cost (2 nights): 450 RMB (~$56)

Beautiful

Today marks at least the fourth or fifth time someone has commented on how nice my skin looks.  Mostly because I am white as a sheet, and as it turns out, pale is the new tan in Asia.

So all those in the US who said I always looked sickly and pale, IN YOUR FACE!

All bicycles go to heaven

Of course you hear about how everyone in China rides bicycles everywhere-- but it has to be seen to be believed.

I thought I could get away without a bicycle. 'I'll walk everywhere!' I told myself, indignantly. I caved within a day. The campus is enormous and it takes at least 30 minutes to walk anywhere. Even on bicycle, it takes at least 10 minutes.

Given some large proportion of a at least 1.5 billion people ride bicycles, it follows that there would be a healthy industry built around bicycles. The difference between China and the U.S. is that this industry isn't built around new bicycles, but rather, old bicycles. You can't go more than a mile without seeing a bicycle repair shop. And most people ride old bicycles, or, if you pay a little more, new bicycles that have been professionally made to look old.

Apparently, there is a lot of thievery in China, especially of bicycles. A friend of mine, who bought a rather shitty second-hand bicycle, had his stolen within a matter of days. Granted, it was unlocked, but it was parked in a well-lit place around a lot of people. He thought his bike was too shitty to be stolen, and was very wrong.

Given that everyone rides bicycles, there is also some need for bicycle-pooling, because it's not always convenient to find parking. So, often you will see someone riding on the back of the bicycle. (Every bicycle comes with a little luggage rack above the rear wheel) I hope that one day, I will make it big, and be able to afford a bicycle with a cushion on the back. Then, I'll be able to attract the ladies.

I ended up getting a beauty of a clunker. Pictures to come.

Some quick observations about Beijing:

- The perception that Asian people are short is not true here.  Everyone is at least 5'10.  

- Food is cheap.  Especially at the university.  I can eat a complete meal at dinnertime for the equivalent of $0.60.  This is with food left over.

- Taxi drivers are more reckless than in NYC.  I don't know how it's possible, but it is. 

- Ramen is better here.  Really.

Korean as a second language

In my class of foreign students in the Chinese language progam, approximately 70% are Korean. Another 20% are Japanese and the remainder represents the rest of the world. My entire floor is Korean with the exception of myself. I do wonder why it seems that all the Koreans on my floor smoke - the downside being that they tend to leave all the windows in their rooms and corridors open overnight, making the building very, very frigid. Oh, and they seem to all know each other, judging by the nightly parties that go on down the hall.

A good thing is that the majority of the English speakers that I've met are British or Australain - so they have quite the sexy accent. Yes, even the guys. There's actually one fellow who has the same mannerisms and speech pattern as Hugh Grant, and resembles him to boot. In any case, most people that know me know that along with my search for a girl over 6' tall that will date me, is one that also has an English accent. Instant +2 pts. Even better is that there are actually overseas Chinese from the UK and Australia with said accents. WOW.

I didn't know quite what to expect in terms of living space prior to coming to China. I had gone to Taiwan before and lived in a student dormitory at "Ocean University", which was quite the character builder. If you turned to face the bunk bed across from you, you could feel your roommate breathing on you. And it was the first time I had encountered "sea cockroaches". Like actual cockroaches that roam the beaches, and occasionally your dormitory room. Of course, we had to use squatters. My squatting skills are actually squat, so I had a very difficult time, plus I have knee problems. Fortunately, I found the lone sit down toilet on an uninhabited upper floor that was my little secret.

But the dormitories here are actually quite good - at least the ones for foreign students are. I have my own room, my own bathroom, nice bed coverings, etc. It's fairly new and kept clean. They actually clean your room daily, and wash your bedsheets for you once a week. The bad part is that they start at 8am sharp and they need to get their cleaning equipment from the room directly adjacent to mine.

The weather hasn't been terrible, but the evenings have been somewhat cold. My room in particular has been chilly, and I thought it was the norm until some of the other students mentioned that their rooms are so warm they can walk around in their underoos. It turns out in order to get the room to 15-20 degrees Celsius, I had to turn the thermostat up to 30 degrees Celsius. By now, I should have known to try that earlier.

I've been here not yet a week, but somehow, it feels much longer. I feel like every day is an adventure. It's quite exciting.

The First Days

It's currently my fourth day in China and I'm starting to get settled. I mean, I still can't really figure out what people are saying half the time, or what anything that's in written form says, but I am hopeful I will be able to make quick progress.

I really didn't appreciate the freedoms I had in the United States until I came here - you don't really realize the value of, say, "freedom of speech" or "freedom of the press" until you lose it. When I watch the news, I wonder if it's been censored (probably) and when I talk to people, I have to be careful that I don't say anything inflammatory. That shouldn't be a problem, I guess, if I stick to mundane topics like the weather or how wonderful Chinese culture is.

As a result of my big Chinese brother always watching, I've become obsessed with internet security and anonymity. My travails have led me to Tor, an application designed to anonymize your traffic. I've also set up an SSH tunnel to a computer in the US, so at least I know that I'm not being spied on until I get there (I think maybe only one person reading this blog will appreciate what an SSH tunnel does).

Although, with the Bush administration's penchant for lies and deception, I am certain that federal agents would swoop down upon my parents if I uttered any suspicious phrases. But at least I can talk about the Bush administration being sneaky! There is tremendous freedom in that.

Here is a snippet from the handbook for international students:

"It is forbidden to organize an illegal gathering on campus. The organizers of lectures, speeches, parties and similar gatherings of international students should apply to the university authorities for formal approval 72 hours prior to the commencing of the activities."

Digging their own graves

You know how sometimes a person will overreact to something, and it seems like a completely expected reaction to that person, but not to anyone else? For example, once I and a few other people were late to holiday dinner (and I am working on my tardiness, seriously) - and the hostess lost it and shut down for the rest of the night. Oh, and she also stopped talking to me and cut off all ties. She obviously feels that it was a valid reaction, and while I don't discount her feelings, think it was a bit over the top.

This is how I feel about the violent protests in the Middle East and other Islamic countries over the recent Danish cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed with a bomb in his turban. Sure, I get that it's an affront to Islam and that it's offensive on a deep level to Muslims because a) it's an artistic rendering of the prophet Mohammed, which is apparently not OK in Islam and b) it's Mohammed with a bomb.

But I wonder what the people protesting are truly mad about. Are they upset that a picture was drawn of Mohammed? Are they mad that a Western cartoonist seems to be mocking Islam? Or are they mad that there's a grain of truth in that cartoon that stirs feelings of shame and guilt (that then get translated into anger and riots)?

From what little history I can recall, violent protests have never really accomplished anything positive. The most successful movements have been peaceful: Gandhi and India's movement for independence, MLK Jr., Rosa Parks, et al. and the civil rights movement, women's suffrage, etc. Unless you're willing to wage all-out war (a la the American Revolution, Chinese Cultural Revolution), violence doesn't seem all that smart.

The dilemma for developing Middle Eastern and Islamic nations is that they have to find a way to develop while making a case for them to govern using Islamic law. Right now, all I see from that region of the world is violence, for example, over a cartoon.

In Speilberg's recent movie, Munich, the protagonist Avner by a strange twist of fate comes face to face with a group of Palestinian terrorists in the same safe house. Avner ends up talking to the leader of the Palestinian group about why the Palestinians use terrorism to advance their cause, to which the Palestinian explains that it's the only way they have to make the world take notice and pay attention to the plight of the Palestinian people.

Ultimately, I think this is a doomed approach. The very people you are trying to get the attention of see only death and destruction in the name of your religion and its God. They see seemingly soulless men and women who justify suicide bombings with false notions of martyrdom. They see the murder of thousands of innocent people around the world to avenge the deaths of allegedly innocent Muslims. None of this makes sense in a civilized sense. You don't get people to sympathize with you by killing their family, friends, countrymen. At best, they fear you. At worst, they turn against you and want to eradicate you and your religion off the face of the planet. It seems that the sentiment is somewhere between ambivalent and the worse option.

I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that with each suicide bomb and terrorist attack that occurs, I have less and less sympathy for the very people and causes those attacks are meant to champion.

Happy day

Today, something happened that brought a huge smile to my face. I couldn't believe my good fortune.

I found a box of snack puddings that I bought a while back, but had forgotten about. You know how sometimes you reach in your pocket, and you find a five dollar bill that you didn't expect, and you feel like you are, like, so rich? This is better. What a happy day.

Madhouse

Have you been to a Wal-Mart lately? It seems like the local Wal-Mart has become not only a place for great bargains on everything from honey roasted peanuts to contact lens solution, but also a complete zoo.

I went to Wal-Mart on Sunday for some basic necessities: shampoo, razors, etc. You could not turn around without bumping into someone. The line at the returns/exchanges counter was 5-10 people deep at all times, and there were at least three people rummaging at each discount/sale bin.

Some people I know love the action - hence shopping for anything in Chinatown or going to DSW. I hate shopping with so many people around. I like to take my time, compare prices, examine the quality and craftsmanship of each and every bobble-head, without the worry of being run over by shopping carts.

The worst part was that the two things I was really hoping to get were both out of stock. Who knew Clear Care and Neutrogena Hand Cream (fragrance-free) were so popular?

It's all the same?

I like to save money as much as the next guy. In fact, some people I know even describe me as frugal. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with frugality, it's just smart not to throw your money away. So for many things, I tend to buy generic, especially consumables. I'll buy generic glass cleaner, toothbrushes, etc.

But, there are some things for which the generic version just doesn't cut it. Here are some examples:

Toilet paper. Generic toilet paper is often micro-thin, and only comes in packages of 20. You may as well use your fingers... for a long time.

Cereal. This really should be the bread and butter of generic purchases, but "toasty o's" and "cinnamon square crunch" just doesn't taste the same. Not even close.

Contact lens solution. Even though I know that the generic version has the same formulation, I just don't trust it. I'll take generic aspirin, ibuprofen, etc. But somehow, I just can't bring myself to put generic solution in my eyes. My favorite so far: Clear Care by Ciba Vision - I don't think there's even a generic version of this yet; it acts like the old AOSept system that really cleans your lenses well. Try it if your contacts feel uncomfortable.

Peanut butter. Only JIF for me. Maybe it's the marketing, but I really think JIF tastes better. It tastes more peanut-y and smoother, and doesn't taste as sweet as generic peanut butter.

Interestingly enough, the generic version of honey roasted peanuts that Wal-Mart sells actually tastes better than Planters. I like to get the 2 lbs. value pack. Mmmm mmmm.