Proud moments

Something happened the other day that made me so proud that I have to share it. 

But first, I need to give some background.

Three days before my flight back from Beijing, I came down with explosive diahrrea.  You read that correctly, explosive.  It came at the least once an hour, each hour, and lasted over 36 hours.  98% water.  It was so bad that I couldn't even lie down on my back.  There was no time for my bottom to recover between trips to the bathroom.  When I was finally solid again, I was so relieved.  It came just prior to my flight.  Thank goodness!

Anyway, the other day, I dropped a two foot long deuce.  It was beautiful and unbroken.  It really was a thing of beauty.  

I will never take solid poop for granted again.  And I am grateful for each glorious chunk of solid turd. 

Spicy wimp

Today I came to a sad realization.  I am a spicy wimp.  I used to crave spicy.  And when I say spicy, I mean really spicy.  It used to be hot and sour soup with extra hot.  Atomic sauce hot wings.  Hot cheetos and Tabasco on my pizza.  

Now I prefer just a slight twinge of heat rather than the brain and tongue numbing spice I used to take.  

I was once runner-up in a spicy contest.  It burned going down and it burned coming out.  But I felt like a man.  Now, I can hardly take one medium sauce wing.  Sigh.

Nomenclature

Recently, I decided to make a list of all known or likely stripper names, to keep in handy when and if I have a daughter.  I want to do everything in my power to prevent my daughter from being a stripper, and if purposely avoiding choosing a stripper-prone name will do the trick, then by golly, I'll do it!

Here are some that I have already:

- Chastity
- Mercedes
- Paris
- Jenna
- Brandi
- Candi
- Starr
- Sky/Skye
- Mocha
- Sindee

Please help me round out my list.