Friday, May 26, 2006

Spock's Dilemma

Rational thought is what separates homo sapiens from other species, right?

So why do feelings conflict so often with rational thought?  

It's not that the logic isn't sound, it's that it's just not how I feel.  I feel something so contrary to logic that it's hard to convince myself of the truth.  And even when I finally see clearly the soundness of the logic, I still can't wrestle my mind away from irrational emotion.  

Some part of me knows that it's also this emotion that sets us apart, that makes us human, that makes life worth living.  They say that you have to take the highs with the lows in order to truly live.  It just so often feels like the lows outnumber the highs, or that there won't be enough highs coming to ever balance the lows.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

It's been quite a while since I last posted, and this time it's not because there is nothing to post about.  So much has happened in the last few months that it's difficult to know where to start.  

First, I'm learning a lot-- not only about China and Chinese, but about myself.  I no longer feel like a guest in someone's house, but almost like I belong here.  It's actually the closest I've felt to actually belonging somewhere.  

So the next question I usually get is, 'Do you plan on staying in China?' The truth is, I don't know.  But it's no longer outside the realm of possibility.

There's also something liberating about living in a foreign country.  I don't feel as restricted by societal norms, and I'm more willing to try new things.  After all, I'm a foreigner; I don't know any better!  At the same time, since I look Chinese, I can blend in when I want to, and simply disappear into the backdrop of 1.5 billion people.  

Recently returned from a 2-week trip to Sichuan province.  It was one of the most memorable times of my life, not only because of the breathtaking vistas but also because of my travel companions, some of whom have become rather good friends.  I think I'll actually be sad when the semester comes to a close and everything scatters into the wind.