You get what's coming to you

The other day, I saw this old, scrawny man crossing the street with a garment rack.

Mind you, he wasn't just crossing the street. He was crossing it in the middle of an intersection (as if he was driving a car). He was also crossing in front of traffic, as the light had just turned green going the other way. He didn't even start crossing until his light turned red and the other turned green.

For New York, I thought most people were being fairly gracious, letting this crazy old man cross in the freakin' middle of the intersection. Some, apparently, were driving around him.

So the old man starts cussing loudly at the cars. "Fucking ASSHOLES!" he says.

Metro vs. AM NY

So in NYC, there are these free daily newspapers they give out near subways and in boxes around the city. They're actually quite good - they give brief, to-the-point articles.

Prior to May, there was only one free daily newspaper where they would have a guy giving it out by subway entrances called AM New York. It was the only game in town.

Then ... PRESTO! Metro New York showed up - the NYC version of a London paper. Now there was friction. TWO competing free daily newspapers!

My point is, there are now two guys trying to give out competing free papers at each subway entrance, one wearing a read smock for AM New York, and one guy wearing a green shirt for the Metro. I wonder if they clash each morning. I wonder if they go home each day deflated because people took the other guy's paper.

I wonder if they fight for position every day - recently, the AM New York guy has been at the entrance of the subway, and the Metro guy was inside the subway - so the AM New York guy would get people as they entered, and then the Metro guy would ask, "Would you like a Metro as well?" And of course, I say no, I can barely finish the one paper, much less two.

Anyway. I think there should be like a big Metro vs. AM New York fight on TV. I'd pay to watch that.

What could be better than fried chicken?

I think that is the question on everyone's minds these days. Indeed, what could be better than fried chicken?

I don't know about anyone else, but I never actually liked the chicken. I just liked the "fried" part. I love the 11 secret herbs and spices and the crunchy texture. I love the golden brown color and the fragrant aroma.

So you guessed it (and I don't know why somebody isn't getting rich off this yet)! What would be better than fried chicken would be fried chicken without the chicken! Just "fried".

Even better, instead of the colonel's 11 secret herbs and spices, I would have the major's 12 secret herbs and spices. Plus, since we got rid of all the chicken and most of the fat that sits under the skin, it would be a healthy alternative to most fast foods - and the costs would be very low. "Fried" would be easy to eat on the go and make little mess. Instant money. Anyone want to go into business with me? Andyc?

Firm Butts Beget More Firm Butts

When you join a gym (like Bally's or Crunch), you pay somewhere between $40-60/mo. You think you're paying for the weights, the water fountains, and the locker room? Wrong! You're paying for the classes!

Yes, I'm talking about that schedule they put out of "Bosu Body" and "Absolution" classes. I recently took the plunge and went to my first class. At first, I felt silly. But now, I can't get enough! Guys, go to the classes. They are a better workout and much more fun than running on a treadmill, riding the bike, or even the ellipticals.

Plus, the best part is... there are tons of firm butts around. Yes, there are some saggy ones, but all butts are there for the same reason - to get firm! It's the best deal in the world. You get a great workout, it's more fun than running by yourself, and you have a great view. Awesome.

I'm hopping on the band's wagon! I've got a blog just like all of you.