On the brink

As I was running yesterday, I realized that I am always on the edge. I am always teetering, just a step away from disaster. Every day, I have an internal battle that I sometimes win and sometimes lose. I'm not sure if I win more, or lose more. Let's take running for example. I know I should do it, I know I need to do it, or at least some sort of physical exercise. Even on mornings that I win the initial battle and actually go running, while I'm running, I constantly negotiate with myself. "I can do X miles today. I can. I can. No. Nevermind, I want to stop. No, keep going! Keep going! But my heart hurts..."

This applies somewhat to every aspect of my life. I always feel like I am just about to go over the edge and end up in a downward spiral, and end up in some trailer park, watching satellite TV on a second-hand couch eating potato chips in a sweat-stained wife beater undershirt and briefs, and unable to pay the rent.

On the other extreme, I often have flashes of ambition, where I want to do something truly amazing, perhaps write a best-selling novel, or start a succesful business, or even write and direct an award-winning screenplay. I don't know - but the point is, I want it to be something above and beyond what I consider a "typical" existence, of a job, mortgage, wife, kids, dysfunction.

Then again, sometimes I settle into the resignation that I will probably end up somewhere in between the above scenarios, in the typical existence I am trying to avoid. And then my life will be over. Will it have mattered then?

Right now, I am trying to maintain an equilibrium that will bring me closer to my ideal of an atypical life rather than the other alternatives, but it's a daily struggle - some days I really just want to sleep until noon and then watch Judge Hatchett, while eating potato chips. Whatever the outcome, I know it will include sweet, succulent, tasty, dark russet potato chips.

Unalterable truths

Truth #44: If you've been sleeping, or sneaking a nap, it's impossible to pretend that you haven't been. You can wash your face, run around a little, clear your throat or practice your voice, but people can always tell that you just woke up.

Running

Ever dream of being chased, and you're running and running, and just when you are either about to get away or you are about to get caught you wake up - and find that you are exhausted?

No Imagination Part II

I lamented the loss of imagination in today's playthings in a previous post, and I feel compelled to voice my malcontent about the other area of imagination under seige.

By now, some of you will have seen movie trailers for an adaptation of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. You may remember the magic that was this series by C.S. Lewis when you first read it, perhaps in fifth or sixth grade. It is one of a few great works of children's literature that has not been chewed up and regurgitated in the form of a movie.

One by one, the greats have fallen, including Matilda, by Roald Dahl, The Witches, also by the venerable Mr Dahl (as the Brits would punctuate), Holes, by Louis Sachar, the entire Harry Potter series and now The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. It really makes me sad, not because it's not fun to watch a movie of a book that you've read, to see how someone else might interpret it, but because a lot of children these days' only experience with the literature is through the book - which not only removes their imagination from the equation but also, many times, removes any incentive to acutally read the work that inspired the film.

I truly hate this trend of moviemakers, to avoid coming up with original film ideas, steal from established and one-of-a-kind works of literature, especially children's literature. It's hard enough to convince kids to read, but if you take away the most persuasive of those reasons to be a lifelong reader, what else have we got? "The Baby Sitter's Club"? (I loved that series too, but it's no Narnia)

Well, at least for the time being, we still have The Hitchhiker's Gui... Oh, wait... nevermind.

Men are simple

In case women ever wondered what made men tick, in the sex department, I decided to generate a very scientific-looking chart to help break it down. (note: the intersection doesn't mean anything - but the implication of the average between the two trends means that at any given point, a man's maximum sexual enjoyment is only about 42%)

All in good time

I've been in New York City for almost two years now, and I'm just finally getting it. I'm finally getting how people could live in one place forever, and never get tired of it - in fact, how people could grow obstinately more attached to a place by the day.

There is simply no other place in the world like New York, the city. Anything and everything you could ever want is within walking distance (except Wal-mart). Everything runs the gamut from everyman to world-class. It's really hard to describe the feeling you get living here, unless you've done it. It's a sort of energy that pulses through you even on the most lazy of Sunday afternoons.

Yet, I am ready for something different. I don't know if I will come back, but I've never felt like I could stay rooted in one place too long, despite a yearning to do so. Stupid paradoxes.