We do what we gotta do

On any given day, you can stroll around my firm. What you will see is not the frantic activity of worker bees and the flurry of fingers at keyboards. Well, except for those who are IMing.

For the most part, with the exception of tyros or toadies, you will see people working as hard as they can to do as little work as possible. Peek at the screens of the secretaries. 90% of the time, they are all playing Zuma, the other 10% of the time they are IMing or on the phone.

Everyone else? Mindlessly browsing the internet, reading the New York Times online or ESPN.com for the tenth time or rabidly clicking the "refresh" button on their gmail. (nobody's sent you an email, so you can stop now)

I suspect that this behavior is being repeated ad infinitum across the globe (except, perhaps, in China, where you only have access to the state news website). No wonder Americans work longer hours than any other nation for a marginal increase in productivity. We spend those extra hours on the internet, wasting time, and our lives, away.

Deep down

On a daily basis, some attorneys, especially partners, I only see in the bathroom. I seem to have a similar bathroom schedule as quite a few of the partners.

Today, while at the urinal, a partner came in, settled into the urinal one away, and let out a big fart.

Personally, I've never gotten in the habit of farting while peeing. In any case, I couldn't help but smirk a little.

The cool gossamer breeze
an occasional streetlamp flickers
do you hear the faint hum?
it's quieter than silence.

multicolored facades mark where life begins
bastions of limpid alleys course between
thundering avenues

trees and fauna dot the landscape
walking through living

Soup of the day

Just a quick observation. Has anyone else noticed that in a subsidized company cafeteria, the item that is always most subsidized (and therefore affordable) is the soup? I have.

Friendship points

I have this strange notion that I have "friendship points", that I accrue when I either a) have left a friend alone for a while or b) I've helped them out in some significant way. Don't get me wrong - I don't keep score, and I don't help out my friends with the expectation of anything in return. BUT I do feel bad if I ask for help from my friends too often, or if it's something really big.

An example is moving help. I think you can ask any friend at maximum twice in five years to help, with the promise of free beer and pizza as minimum compensation. The ironic thing is that I only consider asking for help when it's a big deal and I've exhausted most other options (makes sense, right?) and since I really hate asking my friends to help with things, I end up feeling really bad about it.

One of my friends has suggested that my notion of "friendship points" is ludicrous, that it doesn't work that way among true friends. I think true friends (BFF!) are hard to come by, and that managing "friendship points" is crucial until they reach the upper echelons of friendship. And here is another post with an awkward ending.

Shortsighted

There is nothing that bothers me more than people who talk about how strapped for cash they are, but go out to eat three or more times a week and take two week vacations twice a year.

It also bothers me when people come into a large lump sum, be it through inheritance, selling something (like a car or jewelry), or a tax refund, (On an aside, I think for the most part, expensive jewelry is a waste of money, especially if you don't have enough of it to toss around)they spend it on a lavish vacation or pamper themselves with a 40" plasma screen TV or a new wardobe. I would stick most if not all of that money right into the bank or investments.

Maybe it's just my line of thinking - but some things you can just do without. I don't need a new wardrobe every season. I don't shop at K-Mart either (though, I think if you're in that position, there's nothing wrong with it). So I just own fewer items of better quality. My oldest items are more than five years old. For the most part, I don't buy things I don't need or use.

I'm really annoyed that we are a nation of spendthrifts who don't save enough, who value a cheap thrill over long term solvency.

Why mess with a good thing?

There is some solace to old standby recipes, like Heinz ketchup or Thomas' English Muffins. They still have the same great taste that I remember when I was a kid. It's also why the Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices hasn't changed since the 1930s.

One of my favorite snacks growing up was Lipton's Cup-a-Soup, especially "Cream of Chicken". I didn't like "Cream of Chicken" because it had a delicious, smooth, chicken-y taste, or because it went down like spring on a cold winter's day, but because of the boogers.

Yes, the boogers. Anyone who has had "Cream of Chicken" knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's impossible to mix it perfectly with the water, so in the process of mixing the soup, boogers of semi-dissolved soup form. What makes them so good is that they really do have the consistency of boogers, and each booger has the salty goodness of creamy chicken soup. To quote Dave Chappelle, "MMMMmmm... mmmmmm... BITCH!"

Unfortunately, this has all changed recently. Their new recipe allows for quick dissolution of the tasty "Cream of Chicken" particles. Consequently, there is a much lower chance of booger formation. It takes all the joy out of drinking "Cream of Chicken" soup.

Another recent recipe change is with Pringles original flavor chips. For some reason, the newer chips taste like they've been fried and are less "Pringle-y". Such a shame.

Nobody's worse than you

You often hear people talking about how other people should be more considerate. This comes up in matters of relationships rather often - "What a jerk! He's such an asshole!" or "She's such a bitch, coldhearted and cruel."

We assail others for being rude, insensitive, or selfish, when really, we're the ones being selfish. Why should we expect anyone else to conform to our expectations? Presumably, most, if not all, behavior is for self-preservation. Being cold (as in dumping someone without warning, like the Sex and the City episode where the guy breaks up with Carrie by leaving a Post-it) is just a way to preserve our own feelings. Nobody wants to feel bad, or be made to feel guilty. So you avoid it, or just skip out.

In the episode, Carrie goes on and on about how the guy could have been more mature and how there's a "better" way to break up with someone. But why should anyone have to bend to what you or I think is the right way to do something, especially when it involves feelings? That's the most selfish thing I can think of.

Tasty

An interesting observation lately - my tastes have changed. This might not sound like a huge deal, or it may be obvious to others, but I always thought that my tastes would stay the same, more or less.

But I've found that now, for example, different things are fun to me. I used to looooove Six Flags and Disney World. Now, they are not so exciting. In fact, they can be a chore. I used to looooove candy. Now I rarely, eat candy. I used to looooove cartoons. Now most cartoons bore me. I also used to find certain girls attractive. Now I'm finding very different looking girls attractive - even ones I would have previously considered unattractive. It seems that either I'm maturing, or I'm simply changing. Hopefully it's the former.

So while I imagined myself listening to my "The Chronic" album and going to raves when I am 65, maybe, instead, I will be listening to oldies and classical music, and wearing a bowtie and brimmed hat.

What I really want...

is... Actually, I have no idea what I really want. I have a vague idea, some perception of what I want. But I have a feeling that this perception is based largely on societal expectations. In many ways, that's fine. It makes life a lot easier if you know what you're supposed to do. You don't have to be original.

I've been thinking about this more and more lately, as I don't want to conform to societal norms but there's a certain comfort in it. I'd feel like I belonged more if I liked the same things other guys like, if I ended up marrying in my own race, if I had two kids, a stable, well-paying job and a two car garage. I should also have a backyard barbecue pit, live in a tree-lined subdivision and have a dog.

Would I feel as OK if I didn't do all that? I think that this post is evidence that I might not be, even if it's all in my head. Just because it's something imposed on me by myself doesn't make it any less real.