History repeats itself

The first time it happened, I was in Atlanta. I thought, hey, let's forgo the usual Supercuts and try out the neighborhood barbershop. I tell the guy, "just a little off the top". Before I could react, I saw a large tuft of hair fall in front of my eyes in slow motion, as the buzz from the shaver whizzes past my ears. I ended up with an inadvertent buzz cut that day.

It happened again today. Only today, I tell the lady, "just a trim all around" in Chinese. Apparently I am misunderstood. Whenever I get my hair cut in China, I make sure to watch carefully to make sure my instructions are clear, since I'm pretty sure they don't cover barbershop phrases in the book.

I watched intently, but couldn't figure out what she was doing. She didn't use the razor, instead exclusively using the thinner shears. How do you cut hair using only thinner shears? Maybe that's how they do it in China, I thought, especially since everyone seems to like having these really awful looking feathered poofy haircuts so that from the back, you can't tell if it's a girl or a boy. Well, often, you can't tell from the front either.

Before I knew it, I had observed too long. And I knew that I would be leaving with a buzz cut. Dammit.

Baozi (包子)

Today I happened upon a small hole-in-the-wall baozi place. The translation of its Chinese name was "specialty baozi shop". And boy were they good. Baozi are steamed buns with a filling, usually meat. This place had really nice baozi of all types, including vegetable, pork, mushroom, beef, chicken, and even sweet sesame. Mmmm....

I love baozi because they're just a nice package of food. One baozi hits the spot if you just need a snack and two or three make a meal. They're like sandwiches that can't fall apart.

My mom used to make baozi all the time when I was a kid. Once in fourth grade, I brought two baozi to school for lunch. With great anticipation, I asked the lunchladies to help me warm them up. The aroma of the heated baozi only increased my sense of urgency as I hurried to my seat. "What are those?" My friend Larry asked. "Baozi." I replied, about to take my first bite. Then I saw how he was eyeing them, with the slightest hint of saliva about to drip out of the corner of his mouth, and I knew I had to share the goodness that was my mother's baozi.

"Here you go," I said, as I gave him my second baozi. "Thanks!" Larry's eyes lit up as he took the offering, and eagerly took a bite.

What happened next, I did not expect.

Larry spit out the bite of baozi and let the rest of it slip out of his hands and fall on the floor.

"What was that for??" I demanded. A small piece of me had died. My mother's baozi. My empty stomach. All sacrificed for this ungrateful SOB.

"Was that pork? I'm Jewish. I can't eat pork!"

Well why didn't you say so before dammit!

Things that China inexplicably lacks

Paper towels

Napkins

Lint rollers

Vaseline (for the lips, people!)

Compressed air dusters (it's really dusty here)

Legal pads with a cardboard back