What I really want...

is... Actually, I have no idea what I really want. I have a vague idea, some perception of what I want. But I have a feeling that this perception is based largely on societal expectations. In many ways, that's fine. It makes life a lot easier if you know what you're supposed to do. You don't have to be original.

I've been thinking about this more and more lately, as I don't want to conform to societal norms but there's a certain comfort in it. I'd feel like I belonged more if I liked the same things other guys like, if I ended up marrying in my own race, if I had two kids, a stable, well-paying job and a two car garage. I should also have a backyard barbecue pit, live in a tree-lined subdivision and have a dog.

Would I feel as OK if I didn't do all that? I think that this post is evidence that I might not be, even if it's all in my head. Just because it's something imposed on me by myself doesn't make it any less real.