I only started appreciating the notion of home since leaving home some seven years ago for college. Even then, I didn't truly appreciate it. Only now am I beginning to truly appreciate the concept and feeling of home as I've lived on my own for three years, going on...?
Although I have my own place, I don't feel "at home" when I am there. It's for the most part comfortable, but it's fraught with worries - maintenance, cleaning, taking out the garbage, dishwashing, cooking, buying groceries, etc. Even though I did these things when I lived at home, it was different somehow.
I'm not sure when I will have a place that encompasses the entire feeling of "home" again (which I suspect has to do with feelings of stability, consistency, family, and safety). I definitely don't feel that way yet. My living situation, career, etc, all feel very temporary.
One final note - I think the feeling of "home" also evokes fond memories of happiness and holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't think there is any better feeling than falling asleep, exhausted, after a joyous day of festivities, feeling safe, stable, and content, no matter how fleeting that may be.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
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